Proverbs 31 Woman

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Chapter six

Dissolving the Myth

Prov. 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

2 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens

16 She considereth a field, and buyet) a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength), and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed in scarlet .

22 She maketh coverings of tapestry ; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the

merchant.

25 Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but the woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

DISSOLVING THE MYTH CONCERNING THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN

Probably one of the first thoughts, for many, concerning the Prov. 31 woman, is that she is a stay at home mom, or a housewife. This may automatically bring to mind a certain stereotype of what a housewife looks like, and what her life is like. For many this means a very limited woman who lives within certain perimeters, in which she lives in a certain bondage, unable to develop and use many of her talents and a woman who must lay aside personal dreams and ambitions.

               But what does a Prov. 31 woman really look like?

Surprising though it may be, she is a woman of amazing strength, for the scriptures tell us that she is virtuous.

It may pay to note the fact that when, for example, the King James Bible was translated into English, the people of that day understood certain English words to have meanings quite different from the meanings they have for us today. While we may think of a virtuous woman as being someone who has moral virtue, which has to do with living in a morally right way, the Hebrew word from which the translation 'virtuous' was taken, in Prov. 31: 10, has quite a different meaning altogether. The original Hebrew word was chayil, and the meaning given in the Strong's Concordance (Bible dictionary) does not primarily speak of morality. Take a look at the meaning of virtuous in this scripture.

VIRTUOUS 2428 (Strong's) chayil, khah'-yil; prob. A force, whether of men, means or other recourses; an army, wealth, virtue, valor, strength:-able, activity, (+) army, band of men (soldiers), company, (great) forces ...

The writer of Prov. 31, tells his son that a man who finds a virtuous woman, finds a woman whose value is far above that of rubies.

Clearly, he is not instructing his son, to find a frail, weak little woman who will be unable to do little more than cook, clean and watch over the children.

He is apparently speaking of a woman with tremendous strength. Notice some of the descriptive words, given in the definition of a virtuous woman. “A force, ... an army, wealth, virtue, valor, strength”...

Notice also the words – able, activity (+) army, ... great forces …

Does this surprise you? Have you ever realized that the writer was speaking of a woman of strength?

If you were to look at this verse in the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, you would find “A good wife who can find it?”

I find this a sad, misleading translation, leaving it to the readers own ideas of what a 'good” wife is, and giving no idea of the power of the actual word which was being spoken by the writer to his son.

Next, he tells him that the heart of a husband of such a woman, is able to trust in her, or we might say that he can trust her with all of his heart. He can trust that he will have no need of spoil. Or we might say, that he is able to trust her with all that is his, knowing that nothing that belongs to him will be ruined, wasted or mishandled by her. He knows that she will do him good, even with all that is his, and will do him no evil all the days of his life.

He can leave her in charge of his estate, which now belongs to her as well, assured that she will handle things wisely and carefully; always mindful that the authority she has over HIS household, which, is now, HER household as well, is subject to him and his authority.

(Remember 1 Timothy 5:14 and Titus 2:5))

Verse 13 shows this woman using her mind, her wisdom, her ingenuity and her skill. She would have no skill had she not applied herself to learning that skill, or that is, educated herself in matters that would benefit her life and that of her husband and family.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

The word 'seeketh' here, means (Strong's) to tread or frequent; usually to follow (for pursuit or search) ...

The word 'willingly means (Strong's) pleasure … acceptable, delight (-some) … purpose, willingly.

So here we see that the virtuous woman, at the time these scriptures were written, was described as going out and finding the wool and flax she wanted. It could be that she would go out among her husband's flocks and look over the quality of the wool to choose the best for her purpose. Or, if her husband was not raising sheep, she could go out into the marketplace, or search for those who raised sheep with superior wool. The idea of 'treading or frequenting, hints to me of the possibility that she did not just go pick up the first wool she found, but perhaps shopped around, or, that is, she went out frequently or often until she found what she wanted. She could even have gone out and checked the flock, then waited for those with the best wool to be ready for shearing; checking back often until she was satisfied with which sheep's wool she would take.

Whatever the case. I believe we can see that this woman sought out the wool, rather than just picking up something that would be quick. This wool and flax was going to become the fabric her family wore. As we will see she valued her family. Her ministry, first and foremost, was to them. I believe that what they wore was not only going to be good and pleasing for them but would also represent the value she placed upon them.

We see that the virtuous woman had taken the time to acquire a skill. Whether it was taught her by her mother, which would be likely, or some other way. She had spent the time learning this skill and now she used it for the provision of her family. She took what was provided by her husband, her head, her provider; whether the wool from his flocks or the funds she needed, then she applied herself and caused it to increase. She took the time and used her 'know how' to make sure that she took what was provided her and used it in a wise way to produce more.

Notice that she worked willingly with her hands. This was not a task that she dreaded. She had purpose for what she was doing. She found this work both acceptable and possibly pleasurable. She was being creative and could take pride in the finished product and what it was going to do for her family.

Already we can see that this woman did not sit around a house, reading a book and filling herself with fattening snacks. She had a skill. She had a knowledge of the product she needed for the job at hand. She found pleasure in her creative task. She was a busy lady.

But that was not all.

14 She is like the merchant's ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

No running to McDonald's here! Even the food her family was to eat, was planned and deliberate.

You might be thinking, “We could not really do that! No one would have the time to travel the world just to buy groceries! Surely this is not a literal example for us!

I think the reality may have been, that she either found out which ships were coming in and carrying what, by taking the time to make a visit herself, or perhaps had a servant (possibly hired servant or worker) to get this information for her. Just as today, we can look at adds in the newspaper, call various stores, find out if there are any flee markets selling fresh produce nearby or within a distance worth traveling to etc. What is to be noted is that she thought about, planned and prepared for the food that her family was going to be eating.

In our day and age, a woman even has access to the internet, where she can find out what types of food would be healthy for her family. A woman can take time to plan a healthy diet and consider what would be her healthiest choices in feeding her household.

So evidently, the virtuous woman described in Prov. 31, applied herself to seeing that her family had the best she could provide for them, with the provisions her husband, (provider) had provided for her. She was not wasteful but made her money and her abilities, work for the good of her family.

15 She riseth while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

The virtuous woman is an early riser. She is up before the sun is out, seeing to it that her household has their breakfast. I doubt it is suggesting that she wakes everyone in the middle of the night. But she has food ready for them to start them on their way each day. Notice that though she does have maidens, or, that is, women who work for her, she has not required them to be up before her, getting the breakfast ready. This is a responsibility she takes on herself. Even her maidens receive a portion. Perhaps she wants to be sure that even they have what they need and do not neglect themselves in their service to her. But whatever her reasons might be, what we have depicted for us here, is a woman who takes every aspect of the care of her family and those who work for her, seriously. She values them and sees to it their needs are met. She does not pass this responsibility on to others.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

I love this verse and all that it tells us about the virtuous woman and her relationship with her husband!

Here we find the virtuous woman going out, looking over a piece of land and buying it. Notice the scripture does not say that she took the matter to her husband to obtain his permission to make this purchase.

Surely king Lemuel was not telling his son, that it would be good to marry a woman who does whatever she wants, without considering her husband's opinion or wishes. After all, the man is responsible as the head of his home, for major decisions that are made. Purchasing land would be a pretty large decision, especially if her purpose was to turn it into a vineyard. There would be a lot involved in having a vineyard and all that must be done to care for the crop.

However, remember that we have already read that this woman's husband safely trusts in his wife. This then, would suggest that she has her husband's interest in mind and knows that what she is doing will please him. Either they have already discussed such an endeavor and her husband has sent her on this mission, or she knows that he has given her the freedom to make such decisions for their family.

She has enough understanding of what is needed for such an undertaking. She has enough business sense to make a good purchase. She knows what kind of land would be good for a vineyard. And she has what she needs to get the field turned into a vineyard, including preparation of the soil and planting of the vines.

This woman has done her research!

And look at what she used to get the job done! “... with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

The meaning for 'with' (Strong's) is “… from or out of …” And the meaning for 'fruit' (Strong's) is “ ...fruit … reward”

She has accomplished things that bore fruit, or that is, perhaps made her an increase of money. So she is able to get the vineyard planted using the 'fruit' or rewards of her own accomplishment. If we look ahead to verse 24, we find that she made and sold girdles (The meaning for 'girdles' being :-girded with [Strong's])

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it, and deliverth girdles unto the merchant.

Exactly what these were, I am not certain, whether belts or sashes or some other type of garment. But the point is that she actually made items for sale. She was a business woman. All that she did could be done from her home. She did not neglect the slightest need of her family. But she was able to create an item for sale. Her materials may well have come from her husband's provision of animals for wool, from which she could make these garments, or from money he supplied. But she herself brought in an increase or profit, and from THIS, she was able to get a vineyard planted from which could be derived an even greater increase.

I do not believe the scripture is suggesting that she literally planted the vineyard with her own two hands, although she could have done some of it. But more importantly, she had the resources to get it planted, or that is, perhaps hire workers to do the job, because of the work she had already done willingly with her hands, and this work had bore fruit, or earned an increase.

Notice also that she dealt with the merchant herself. This does not sound like a timid pushover. She must have know the quality of her merchandise and how to make the right deals in selling it.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hand to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

She had worked diligently, even past daylight, making a product that she knew was good.

The word 'merchandise' here means (Strong's) “profit (from trade): - merchandise.”

So either it is saying that she knows she has made a good profit, or that because of the quality of her product, she knows it will bring a good profit. Surely both would be true.

This woman is not haphazard in what she does. She is diligent.
The fact that her own candle is burning as she works past daylight, let's us know she is working from home. She may have been out and about getting her materials and doing business, but she creates her product at home.
She can take pride in her work, and so can her husband. When people speak of the product his wife makes and sells, he will hear words that make him proud.

Along with all else that she makes, her own family is provided for in a way that reflects both her love for them and their value.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for ALL her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

The virtuous woman thinks ahead and plans for the cold weather. She has made all who are in her household, clothing that will keep them warm when the snow comes and is ready without worry.

She dresses herself in a way that bespeaks of royalty. This may not be because she is trying to lift herself above others, but because she values herself, and even more importantly, she knows that she represents the man she is married too, who she respects and wants to represent well.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

So it may be that she dresses in a manner that will reflect the importance of her husband. It may also be telling us, that because of the things this woman does for her family and the husband she loves and respects, and because of the fine way she presents herself, SHE MAKES HER HUSBAND LOOK GOOD!

After all, a man who has such a wife, must be a man of value!

Be honest, if you had a fine, outstanding husband, would it not reflect on you? Would you not feel honored that he had chosen you?

She is clearly not all about self-importance, for she works hard for those she loves. She is considerate of those who work for her. And we are told -

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

With all of her skill, all of her business savvy, and all the beautiful things she provides for her family; with all that she does with respect and honor of her husband, the virtuous woman is a humble woman! She reaches out to those in need rather than being stingy and hoarding what she has produced all to herself.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

The virtuous woman is not a lazy busybody, going from house to house to gossip and waste time. Her words are words of wisdom and kindness. Perhaps she even encourages the poor and needy in ways they too can make improvements and better their circumstances, where possible.

Yes though she wears silk and purple, though she is accomplished and skilled, yet her true beauty, true clothing, or that is, what covers her, or what is seen by others when they look at her, and the thing that protects her, as clothing protects us from outward exposure IS -

25 Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

This brings to mind, the scripture in the New Testament where the writer addresses the adorning of the woman. Adorning being, orderly arrangement, that is, decoration (Strong's).

1 Peter 3:3&4 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and wearing of gold, or of putting on apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

The writer is not saying that a woman should never plait her hair, any more than he is saying that she should never put on apparel, which is clothes. What he IS saying, is that her true beauty should not be these things. Her real beauty is to be what comes from her heart. What she has inside of her; those matters of her true heart, should be the things that are reflected in what she does in her life. These should be the things that people see as beautiful.

For the virtuous woman, what is seen as her covering and the thing that beautifies her, is strength and honor. Not weakness, frailty and lack of ability.

As has been talked about in a previous chapter, the way in which she is weaker than the man, has more to do with physique, and perhaps the nature of her sensitive wiring needed for the internal ministering she is designed to do. But in many ways, and in ways that are to be so obvious as to be her very clothing, or what is seen by all, is to be STRENGTH and HONOR.

She may work hard for her family and sometimes be physically weary, but the result of all she has applied herself to, will be cause for rejoicing in the future!

This is not the picture of a woman who tries to impress others with her education and outward appearance and spends all of her time in acquiring more and more money to heap upon herself more and more finery, while putting her children and husband on the back burner in her pursuit of selfish gain. This woman's true beauty is in her strength of character, strength of heart and faith and the strength of her love and devotion to those God has given her. She – 27 “...looketh well to the ways of her household …:

The virtuous woman is a woman who (17) “… girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.”

We might say, that she strengthens herself in all the areas needed to carry out the task that is set for her to accomplish.

28 Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth (...morally reverent... [Strong's]) the Lord, she shall be praised.

Here we reach the secret of this woman's motivation and the source of her strength!

She reveres the Lord. What she does is done in reverence to him! And we know that a New Testament virtuous woman can do all things through Christ who strengthens her!

Why should a husband today be able to trusta virtuous wife?

He knows who it is that she serves!

He knows she honors him as her head; her provider and protective covering!

He knows what is the source of her strength and motivation!

He knows that she is one with him and they are unified in purpose and goal!

He knows she is a part of him, not someone seeking separate goals and purposes that have nothing to do with him.

He knows her skills, talents, and even her wiring is in many ways different from his own and yet work in agreement with him and his.

He knows that where two or three agree as touching anything in the name of Jesus, it can and will be done!

He knows that the love of God flows from her to all he has given her.

He knows she is intelligent and capable.

He knows he has a wife of virtue, strength, and heart!

And yet even reading this may leave some of you feeling overwhelmed. You may think this to be a beautiful picture of a fabulous woman, but a picture that leaves you feeling small and insignificant.

First, let me assure you that the virtuous woman would not likely do all these things at the same times. In the summer, she may have a garden and look for land to be planted. Each of these things may have had a week or more devoted to them. Searching for land for a week or more, tending the arrangements to get it planted and cared for taking another week or more.

A few days may have been designated just for finding out what the ships would be bringing in and when, etc.

It may have been fall, when the sheep were ready for shearing, that she began to seek out the best wool, then began weaving for a couple of hours in the evening.

Sewing may have been done in winter when weather restricted her more indoors.

And her girdles may have been sold in the spring, after she had many already made up and ready.

The point is not to say that the virtuous woman did all of these things, all the time. This would have been impossible. But with careful planning, the guidance of the Lord and a motivated, willing heart, a woman can accomplish much, for the good of those God places in her care.

She can learn skills and gain business understanding, without having to go to a public job that takes her away from young children who God has entrusted her with.

In our day and age, some of what a virtuous woman does may be different, yet she can find ways to take what her provider puts in her hands and make it multiply and bring forth fruit.

Consider too, that many a woman today works eight hours a day on a public job, and may be gone from home approx. nine hours per day with travel time. If she had that same amount of time at home, there would be plenty of time to accomplish many things for her family.

Women are providers in their own right. They can take a house and make it a home. They can take a new, innocent, pure child, and nurture, protect, teach and guide him or her until he/she becomes another virtuous woman or an fine man of God.

She can be a partner in the dreams, plans, and goals of her husband; working with and for him and her own God-given purpose in life.

Woman is neither to be limited to being a trinket, whose only ability and purpose is to be dominated and played with, nor is she to function separate and aside from the purpose of her husband and the God-given responsibility to her children.

When God made woman, he made a good thing. She was the finishing touch to the image of God, which required that Adam not be singular, but a plural unit.

Whatever you do, do not limit yourself to a life of bondage nor mediocrity.

Whatever you do, do not think you have to function as a man to be of equal value.

Whatever you do, do not think you have to live your life according to the world's view of what is important.

You do not have to be like, nor outdo, the Jones.

What you need to do is be a woman, a wife, a mother, anointed of God and following His will; doing what He has designed you to do.

The virtuous woman worked, produced, bought, sold and provided for her family, taking what her provider provided and causing it to multiply. She was creative and able. She was a woman of strength. All she did, was for the good of her family. Her children learned from her example.

Now we can pray and ask God to guide us, motivated us, and show us how to apply these examples to our own life.

Each woman's path may not look exactly alike, but all should fit within the perimeters of the Word of God and the instructions found there.

Do not be discouraged! Let God open your life up to great possibilities! You have a God-given purpose! You have God-given potential. Lay your life at the Saviors feet in full surrender to his will for your life. Let him lift you up, hug you, and set your feet to dancing down a path of adventure and creativity greater than you have yet known! The future is bright for a daughter of the king!

                              A woman of virtue!

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