Marriage the Death Sentence

Marriage the Death Sentence


The title of this post may sound unappealing and negative. After all marriage is supposed to be something beautiful. It is to be the beginning of something worth while. It is begun with a beautiful ceremony in which a bride often presents herself in the most becoming way imaginable. The beauty of the ceremony signifies, the importance and beauty of the event.
The marriage is to be a most honorable contract between two people who have chosen each other, out of all the people on earth.
Of course there may be few who really have confidence that it will be all they hope for and have dreamed about. It has become such a common thing for marriages to end and for people to have been married more than once. This is what we have seen far too often. So, often this contract is entered into with the assurance, not so much that the spouse will fulfill his part of the contract, but with the assurance that if he does not, there is always a way out and a chance to try again to find what the heart longs for.
Still there is the thought of, and the hope for, that story book romance that really will last forever.
But I write here, concerning the Biblical perspective of marriage.
What was God's idea of marriage? What should a Christian marriage look like?

Ge 1:27 - So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Ge 1:26 -And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

Ge 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

God created marriage to be, the coming together of two individuals to become one flesh and thus becoming a further reflection of God.
I realize that this is an out dated concept. It is no wonder that when some marry today, they retain their own, original last name. This signifies their individuality. They may be married, but want to keep a perspective on their own individuality. It used to be that the bride took her husband's last name. But what that signifies is often looked down on today.
In reality, however, the Bible does tell us that after the man was created, the woman was made out of his flesh and his bone. Adam said, "This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. However he went on to say that after that, each individual man, was to forsake all others, and keep to, (be glued to), be joined to his wife. Then in the New Testament we are told that the wife is a part of her husband's body. So then, if we look at it from a scriptural standpoint, it makes more sense for a woman to give up her father's last name and to take on the name, or that is, the identity of her husband, for they are never again to be considered two separate people but a part of each other.
You may ask, why not the other way around? Why not have the man take the wife's last name? Simply because scripture tells us that the man is the head, the protector and provider for his wife. He is the one to stand guard so to speak, for his family. Since he is the head of the wife, it makes sense that she would take his name. But also because that the woman was created out of the man's body and the Bible tells us that she is his body.
This very idea may be detestable to many, who feel this would mean loosing their self worth; the value that they have as a person.
Satan has used this idea to his own benefit, to the detriment of many. He knows that each individual part of the marital unit, has high value and must be respected and allowed to function in the way God created them to do, in order for the whole to be all that it should be. So he has presented the idea of loss of self and self worth, to deceive individuals and steal from them their full potential and the one thing that their heart truly yearns for.
The marriage is the place where two individuals unite to become a new and completed person, who will be the reflection of God. It is the place where each individual make up, personality and temperament can find it's greatest purpose and fulfillment; where all that makes up each individual can blossom, flourish and exercise it's talents, abilities and true purpose to the greatest extent.
A seed must be healthy, without disease or decay, in order to be able to produce fruit. Yet it must be planted in soil, receive sunshine and water, or it will never produce. It does not matter how perfect the seed is, in and of itself. If left alone, it will dry up and profit nothing. However if that perfect seed is planted in the earth and watered, it will be blessed with dying. And when it dies, then from within it, will spring forth a new and healthy plant. - The plant is the seed. - It comes from the seed. It could not have existed without the seed. Still it is new, tender, beautiful and in need of care. With proper care, it will grow into a strong plant and produce beautiful fruit. If the seed were to call out, "I am a perfect seed! I do not need to be anything but what I am! I have purpose in myself! I need nothing more!" This would not change the fact, that left to itself it will dry up and die, and produce nothing.
It is when soil is added, the sun shines upon it and the soil together and both are watered, that the seed will die in order to live. This death is a blessing to the seed! The value of the seed is seen only after it dies. Only then will it be changed into something more beautiful than it was and benefit by giving life giving nutrition to others.
One of the secrets to a great marriage, is for each member to die, that is, to die to self and live for the good of the other.
In order for this new person, this new unit to exist, there are some things that can no longer
be. Before an individual is married, if he has left his parents home, and gone out on his own, he can be an independent person. He can pursue what ever goals and dreams he chooses. He can think his own thoughts, eat what he wants, dress how he wants, live where he wants etc. He does not have to make any more commitments than he wants, except those necessary for his survival. Everything he does can be primarily centered on self, so that even if he choses a particular job, to which he may have to follow certain rules and guidelines, the purpose for his submission to this, can all be to further his own personal, or selfish goals and desires. However, in order to have a marriage, as God intended it to be, this can no longer be the case.
Consider the mind of God. God the Father and God the Son are one, so much so that they did nothing without the other. When God created the first man and wife, he was creating his own image. I believe that Satan hated this. I don't think he liked the idea of seeing the image of God, reflected in every man and wife he saw across the face of the earth! And he has busied himself to destroy that image and to steal from mankind, the very understanding of what the marriage was meant to be. But if people today can learn how to be one, even as the Father and Son are one, they will have the potential of having one of the most fulfilling and joyous marriages on earth.
When a child is born, he has no knowledge of what his purpose is to be. He is fearfully and wonderfully made. He has instincts for survival, and built in desires for the things he needs. He needs love, acceptance, approval, to learn and create, to have peace and joy ... ; for he was created in God's image and these are things of God. That is to say, God desires love, approval, acceptance, etc. and the desire for these things is wired into us.
But God is not singular. He is the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He is one unit, that makes up God. And so it is wired into mankind, the need to also be a part of a unit that makes up one whole individual; the image of God.
As we know, man sinned in the garden of Eden and the picture of God's original design and heart was distorted. It took death to bring man back to life and to restore him to the father.
In order for an individual to truly become one with a spouse, it takes death.

Joh 12:24 - Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.

Mt 10:39 - He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

Mt 16:25 - For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

Mt 20:28 - Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

Lu 17:33 - Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.

So many scriptures tell us the truth of the importance of dying to live. We hear sermons on this subject. We hear sermons on loving God and putting Him first. Sermons on taking up our cross to follow Jesus, which is dying to self that another may live. We hear sermons about doing the work of God and spreading the gospel etc. However all the important truths of God should be lived out first and foremost right at home, on our marriages! If you can get it right there, you will be better suited to practice your Christianity in the world. In fact your very life, and your very marriage will be a reflection of
 1. God himself
 2 The love of God
 3 The truth of God in action!
Your marriage will testify to the fact that you really can do the things God has required of you as a Christian and live a life of harmony and joy!
It was Jesus who first laid down His life that you might live and have life more abundantly. Now in order for you to show Him in your life, you must lay down your life that your spouse might live and become one with you.

Joh 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

While the man is the head of his wife, this is a position of servanthood. This is a position given him by God whereby he may serve his wife, in protecting her, seeing all her needs are met, taking the brunt of problems and responsibilities that arrive and seeing she has all she needs to live and grow and go about accomplishing those things God has called her to do and be.
Both the husband and the wife, belong to each other and are now a part of each other!

Gen. 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Mt. 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.

Mt. 19:6 -Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mrk. 10:8 - And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

The woman is required to submit to her husband, (Eph. 5:22) thus allowing him to go ahead and do what God requires of Him; be the head of his wife. The husbands are required to honor their wives as the weaker vessel, which I believe is to say, as one who needs his care and protection; someone worthy of honor. I say this because Prov. 30 describes a virtuous woman as a very strong individual and portrays her as having the capacity and ability to do many things including business. Yet She is wired in a very sensitive way in order to be the wife and mother she needs to be, tending to very deep emotional needs. She is the vessel to carry the man's children and give birth. She has important roles that she is best able to focus on and perform well, if she has a safe and protected environment in which to do so. The man needs to honor her for who and what she is and for the ability she has to carry on the sensitive mission she has been given. And he needs to guard, protect and honor her. If he does not honor as he ought, his prayers may be hindered.

1 Pet. 3:7 - Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Our bodies belong to the Lord and we are to glorify Him in our bodies.

1 Cor. 6:13 - ... Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.

1 Cor. 6:20 - For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

But the Word says this of our bodies.

Eph. 5:28+29 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

Eph.5:31 - For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

We are to glorify God in our bodies, which belong to God. Our bodies are for the Lord and He is for our bodies! But we are also told that in marriage each of our bodies are part of our spouses body. What we do concerning our spouse we do to the Lord's body ; that body which is for the Lord and which He is for!

1Cor. 7:4 -The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

WHY? - Because we are part of each other and we die to self. Even in love making, if we seek to please our spouse, we find great joy and pleasure!

Yes marriage is a death sentence! It is where you die to self for the one you love most under God! It is the place for you to love fully, wholly, completely, and unselfishly, as Christ has loved us! It is the place for you to practice the heart and purpose of God. It is the place for you to be loved in like manner. But even if you do not seem to receive as much as you give, it is here that God will look and bless you for your obedience to His Word and His call. Our Lord was rejected by many He died for, but He did so just the same. Through our obedience to Christ and our prayers on behalf of our mate, they too may be saved and learn to love as they ought to.

Mrk. 8:34 -And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

We have been told -

Mt 18:19 - Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

Can you imagine the power that can be experienced when the two that God himself has joined together, made to be one flesh and His own image, come into agreement as one and together seek the Lord!? When the enemy of your souls and the enemy of our God comes against you and you call upon God in unified agreement with your spouse, you can expect God to hear and answer, if you are praying according to His will!
After saying that a man loving his wife is loving himself, scripture went on to say this -

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30. For we are members of his body, and his flesh, and of his bones.
31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

WOW! When God speaks of the marriage he is speaking of Christ and the church! It is because (for this cause) we are members of Christ's body, flesh and bones, that a man is to leave his father and mother and be joined as one to his wife.
Did Jesus not lay down His life so that we might live? Did He not die to receive us, the church as his bride? Did He not leave his throne in heaven and become a human, live inside a human womb for nine months and go through the birth process!? Did He not walk the earth in the dust and dirt, give himself over to torture and death to save us from our sins and restore us to a relationship with himself and the Father? Of course He did! And the relationship he has to his church, he shows us, is to be the kind of relationship we are to have with our spouse in marriage!

Yes marriage is a death sentence! The great blessing of dying so that new life may emerge! New and better life! A life made up of one incomplete person, joined to his other half and becoming whole!

Can we do and give less than Jesus did?

Isa. 53:6 -All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

1 Pet. 2:24 -Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

Eph. 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.

Husband do you want to see your wife become the best she can be? Jesus surely did not die because we were all so perfect! But rather because we were not! We had sin in us! But He gave His life to cleanse us and purify us and make us the best we can be. Husbands are required to love their wives in the same way Christ loved his church and gave himself for it!

Let us take a new look at what marriage is supposed to be. The place where we live out what Christ did for us to bring forth life - (Eph.5:30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Do you want a wonderful, loving, fulfilling marriage. Do you want to enjoy the ultimate relationship with the perfect mate for you! DIE!

                           DIE so you can really live; so your marriage can live, grow and blossom!

                                                Listen to the Word of God and DIE!